Culinary Novice.....

Cooking and me have always been far apart....during my late teens and early twenties when most girls were busy coaxed by their mothers to learn some basic cooking, my mom used to never let me enter the kitchen! She used to say when the time comes u will learn to make a meal so don’t waste your time now!!! At that time I found what mom said to be very weird because she was so unlike the rest of the pack!! Later, as I grew older and wiser (!!), I realised my mom was way ahead of her times! She wanted me to learn other important skills in life and she was egging me on to take on bigger challenges in life!

Today when I look back I am so glad I am not one of those kitchen bound women (no offence please!) who find it difficult to let go and get insecure if that space of theirs is taken by another woman!

Now, as a desperate attempt to get some distraction in life, I have taken to cooking like never before....I was never one of those who liked to cook a regular meal...this time I have taken to making desserts and puddings! I find myself looking up sites for interesting recipes, talking to friends who have tried some simple mouth watering recipes. The enthusiasm has gone up several notches as the first two attempts have received good reviews and I have been nudged to try more!!

I am finding my energies channelized in a yummy way and I am finding this very therapeutic!

For those interested in getting simple dessert recipes, mail me!!!

IPL fever is back!

I was one of those who was initially skeptical about the way the IPL would take shape but as the inaugural version kicked off i was hooked to each and every game and ofcourse my money was on Chennai Super Kings...I watched the spectacular closing ceremony and the finals of season one and i was awe struck...i knew and realised then why all other sportpersons in this country crib about the kind of atention cricket receives here....obscene amount of money was spent on not just getting players in the teams, but getting cheerleaders, the advertising, the merchandise etc etc ...

Season 2 is going to start within the next few days....it begins with the auctions! Pakistan players are not going to be there...not sure if they are going to be missed...except Sohail Tanveer of Rajasthan Royals...who was the spearhead bowler and gave several match winning performances! Clarke has pulled out and its expected many other Aussies would not join in too...A lot of speculation going on that KP is going to beat MSD in terms of the highest paid non icon figure. Apparently, Royal Challengers are really keen to get him!!! Lot of internal shuffling happening too...Uttappa swapped with Zaheer Khan...similarly other teams are planning their strategies too...

The glamour quotient got bigger too...Shilpa becomes a co-owner of Rajasthan Royals! Smart move i must say! She is really cashing in on her popularity in UK..now that English players are jumping into the IPL this season!

Me?? I am going to glued to any bit of information that going to come by on the IPL...I somehow dislike Lalit Modi but need to give it to him - he has created a humdinger!

How far will u go for money??

Few days back i happened to watch The Moment of Truth for the first time. Was channel surfing and chanced upon this reality show. Five minutes of viewing and i was hooked. The questions got personal with each level and as a viewer i started getting very uncomfortable. But i was amazed by the ease with which the contestants could answer some very touchy questions especially in front of their family members....

left me wondering....is this all staged?? like WWF (oops! its called WWE now!) or are people really willing to put their personal relationships at stake for that kind of money??? A lot of us do keep some part of our lives closely to ourselves and would probably share with close friends only so what prompts someone to share such sensitive stuff on national TV?? With so many reality shows hitting Indian TV, that day is not far away when an Indian version of this show comes on one of our channels!

The firang connection!

I have been observing a recent phenomenon in Bollywood....the advent of dancers from the west!! Off late, I don’t get to see any popular song and dance with the local dancers - u name a chartbuster from any movie in recent times or for that matter chat shows and it has gori girls gyrating to oft so heard tunes of music composers. Also there are hardly any gora dancers in these groups mind u!!! Whereas this was not the case with local dancers...the hero always had male dancers giving him a run for his money in the background!

This is happening inspite of several reality dance shows which have given wanna be choreographers a good break in the film industry...a case in point is Rajeev Surti . For those who have watched Nach Baliye season 1 will remember, he was the choreographer for varun and rajeshwari and he mesmerised one and all with his unique style and grace. It was his luck that Farhan Akhtar was one of the judges on the show and he promptly signed him on for Don!!! The rest they say is history. There are several such success stories in the past few years – reality tv is big time in India these days and every channel worth its money has a dance show on it.

Despite these developments why are our choreographers (there are no firangs who have come in this category as yet – it is still ruled by the Khans and the Merchants!!!) , producers and directors looking for company from the west?? Hold on!! I am not ad venting here a viewpoint thrown by quite a few philosophy redundant political parties or proving a case in point for them but I am raising this because I am curious as to know why this development has taken place when there is no dearth of talent on this front in this country.

A silent prayer....

for sometime now i have been doing this but now i am verbalising it....

8 months back a dream was realised...8 months back a new lease of life for an infant...8 months back life changed for ever...

amidst all this, i found myself often shedding silent tears for an unknown woman.. a woman who had to take a tough and painful decision....a woman who would have spent several sleepless nights........a woman who couldnt show her face to the world......

A MOTHER who relinquished her baby........

all that i can say to her is THANK U for giving us ur precious little one and DONT WORRY we will take care of your little one...

you are in my prayers wherever u r.........

Re starting with a THANK YOU!

as i begin the first post of 09 there are several people i would like to thank....first and foremost...

MY SON....for entering our lives and making it special in every way possible...

MY HUBBY...for helping me realise a long cherished dream....

MY PARENTS...for always being supportive ..........

AND

MY DAUGHTER....for keeping me on my toes thru 08!!!!!!!!! (pssst.....i have lost several pounds in this process!!!)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!

Oh racist – we are!

Ever since the monkey episode happened one fine day on the Sydney cricket field, there have been several debates and discussions on whether at all we Indians are racists. Initially there was hue and cry on how we have been wronged and we need to give the Aussies back in the same manner. Slowly as the matter started settling down, there was some introspection about whether at all we are really racists at heart.

For me, there is no doubt in my mind that we are racists and are struggling to get over the firang hangover! See the matrimonial advertisements for instance. Have u ever come across an ad that doesn’t mention the word fair, beautiful? Aren’t our idiot boxes filled with fairness cream ads? how many times have we (I mean girls) been told to carry an umbrella on a harsh sunny day so as to avoid a tan?! Why aren’t boys ever asked to carry an umbrella on a sunny day?!!! I always wonder! Are any of our movie heroines dark and dusky? How many pregnant women have been given saffron (the wonder spice that is supposed to bring about ‘fair’ babies) mixed in their milk?

The list is endless. I have come across very few men and women who have moved beyond this and have looked at the inner beauty of people. For a lot of people I guess there is no time and inclination to see what’s hidden beneath the skin.

Oh! This pseudo world!

Few days back I happened to go a mall nearby with my daughter. Just as we were stepping out of the mall with several shopping bags, I noticed that a lady security guard was stopping three young boys (must be in their late teens), shabbily dressed but keen to get into the mall to probably to get a dekho of the glitter and the glamour. They were pleading to get into the mall to just roam around and she outright refused them permission. All individuals entering a mall have to go thru the metal detector these days and have to open their bags as well for security reasons. If these boys (from their appearance it looked like they were from a economically and socially poor background) passed these tests and were going ahead, why weren’t they allowed to go in? What threat did they pose when they were not carrying anything? Didn’t they have the right to do some harmless window shopping? Or was it their fault that they weren’t showing off a Prada or a Gucci or one of those obnoxious brands? Why are there different set of rules for different strata of people?


But for the numerous shopping bags that was becoming unmanageable and a toddler who was running away from my gaze, I would have come up to fight this case. The saddest part of this experience is that there are very few people who want to take up such a cause, they would rather be mute spectators, not get their hands dirty and have such ‘entertainment’ for their outing.

Wake up people!

Began with a bang...

Welcomed the New Year rather quietly this time.......it was a welcome change as generally we tend to party and bring in the New Year it more a spiritual experience this time!

The best part of the new beginning was (apart from the resolutions, which I will those later) that we watched Taare Zameen Par on the first day of this year! What a movie! Loved every bit of it! A must watch for all parents and teachers…it takes guts to make such a debut movie…only a sensitive and a socially responsible person could make a movie like this….the child artist is a great find! Those who haven’t seen the movie as yet….please go right away….and what hit me the most when I saw the movie….the example of Solomon islands …those who have seen the movie will know what I am referring to! After a long time I cried buckets and buckets in a movie!

Aamir Khan I salute thee!

This week I happened to watch another lovely movie….a tamil one after a really long time. ‘Mozhi’.....simple story line, lovely screenplay and dialogues, brilliant songs and music. Loved the positive angle of dealing with a physically challenged person in this movie. I am glad I waited this long to watch a nice tamil movie…

The year has begun well and I hope I continue to see more such movies….

Happy new year all of you!

I am Back!

There seems to be a pattern to this hibernation….whenever I feel low it looks like I don’t like to get to cyber space and whenever things seem to be looking up I tend to get back here…....hope I stay here longer this time around!

Where are the Purists?!

Yesterday I had the pleasure of watching the India vs. Pakistan Twenty 20 match...Didn’t get to see the full match but I did manage to catch the highlights. What a thriller!! I enjoyed every minute of the game and I loved the final bowl over to decide the winner. It was exciting, adrenalin pumping and fun all the way. I have not enjoyed cricket like this for a long time now. It’s not too long, its great entertainment for the crowds, its a mela atmosphere with cheerleaders getting into action every few minutes, drums playing round the clock, the batsmen and the bowlers seem to be having their share of exuberance and most importantly (for the cricketers!!) its pots and pots of money!!!!!!!!!!!

I know several friends of mine who enjoy only the longer version of the game; I wonder what they would have to say about this really shortened adaptation of the game!!!

The match fixing, the slump in Indian cricket (thanks to a ‘gentleman’ called Mr.Chappel) had taken away my interest in the game for some time. With T20 I am back!!! CHEERS!!!

My beliefs vs. My friendships

For some time now I have been battling this dilemma in my mind....whether to go with my values / beliefs or to stick to new friendships that I have made in the recent past.

I am quite against the idea of having children working in any kind of circumstances. Call it the righteousness in me or the background of my exposure in the development field, but I can’t fathom children working in homes leave alone working in difficult circumstances such as coal mines, firework factories etc. A few friends of mine do have young children, within 16 years of age, whom they have as full time help in their homes. In India it’s illegal to make children work and recently child labour in homes was also recognised as an offence and made punishable. I have been toying with the idea of gently telling these friends of mine that I don’t think what they are doing is right. I am not sure how it is going to be received; are they going to be offended?

How do I deal with my conscience? What answers do I give myself when I see those children? Do I choose friendship over something I believe in? I am grappling with this predicament and hope I can sort this out soon.

My greatest fear...

In the last couple of months, there has been 3 deaths in the building where i live. The first two were natural deaths while the third one has shaken everyone in the building. A young mother of two children (boy aged 4.5 and girl aged 2.5 yrs) died suddenly one morning. No one knew what had happened; she died alone at home with her daughter beside her. What happened to her? why didnt she call any of us for help? was she sick, depressed?? what would happen to the children? Several questions remain unanswered. Chhavi is gone but we are left grappling with various questions...

This unfortunate incident has driven home several points. One, life is too unpredictable; no one knows whats going to happen to them tomorrow. Second, death has always been a distant reality for me till now. I have read in several places that death is the biggest fear that people have. When i used to read this, it used to touch me at the cerebral level only. This incident has hit me hard; it has instilled a fear in me of losing my near and dear ones.

It has instilled the fear of death in me...

Pangs of growing up!

My daughter turned 3 during the peak Indian summer this year. She has been a talkative child from the time she has learned to speak! Her memory for names and people has been phenomenal from a young age. Slowly, i see her friends circle expanding. She has her set of favourites with whom she is very paly with all the time and another set with whom she blows hot and cold from time to time.

I see groups being formed and sometimes she is part of it and sometimes she is not. I see her getting upset when some of her friends dont play with her and alienate her..

I dont know whether it is common for every mother to feel so but I do feel bad when my daughter is left out and she feels upset. My maternal instinct wants me to reach out and help her in such situations. But i hold back and tell myself that she will learn to deal with such situations and all this is part of life.

Whether or not my daughter realises this or not i dont know but i can feel the pangs of her growing up!!

Oh freedom! I Love you..

I am writing this blog post from Afghanistan…a place that would never have been on my list of countries that I would love to visit!! Nevertheless work has brought me here and when I was asked to go from my office I didn’t batter an eyelid for a second and thought this would be an opportunity to go to a country that I wouldn’t imagine going to.

As the plane lands in kabul all that one can see is barren land all around…brown, dry and depressing. The airport is full of army helicopters, bunkers and broken down aircrafts and so on.. again depressing….As I enter the airport a passport control officer spots me and points to my bindi and says u! come here! I instantly realise that I am standing out (in the plane from Delhi there are only 2 women and I am one of them) in a crowd because of my bindi!!! Alarm bells starting ringing!! Why is he calling me? What have I done?? Nevertheless he was only trying to help me by clearing my immigration as fast as possible. Gosh! The evil mind that I have!!!

I was supposed to be booked at an ecotel hotel and I was excited about being in a ‘resort’ in a city like Kabul!! I near the hotel and the driver gets off and opens the door. I ask him very innocently whether we have reached because all I can see is a fortress in front of me! The gates of the fortress open and there is the ‘resort’! I swallowed hard and came to terms with what I was seeing in front of me. If I was to compare this place with some hotel in India it would probably be like a two star hotel! Anyway, I have lived in terrible conditions in the past and as usual I was quick to adjust myself to this new situation as well.

Minutes after I settle in I am called for a security briefing! Curfew rules, cover your head, wear full sleeve clothes, radio handset to everyone, no moving out alone anywhere, no shopping (yes! No shopping!! U read that right!!), no eating out, no public transport etc etc. I was expecting this so it was not a surprise to me. Though what struck me hard and I am still thinking about it is how much we take our freedom for granted back home. Small things upset us; we crib about freedom of expression, movement etc etc and here is a place where your life is at risk every minute of your life; life is unpredictable and need to be cautious even while you are indoors or sleeping. Are we not glad that we can go for a drive whenever and wherever we want you? Are we not glad we can go to any shop any time of the day? Are we not glad we can move around anywhere without people keeping track of where we are?

So for all those of u who are reading this post put your life in perspective. Stop cribbing about the small things in life, live life to the fullest, make the most of what u have now coz u never know when it is going to go away from u, live in the present moment and most importantly enjoy your freedom!

Taxi Paaji

Hello! I am back!

This is something I have been wanting to write for a while now but somehow havent done so till now...Its one of the most endearing relationships I have been in...

My work often takes me out of town mainly to Delhi within the country. I tend to take the early morning flight to Delhi. I regularly call a cab service early in the morning to take me to the airport. The driver is a 70+ sardarji..he is the person who comes whenever I call for a cab early in the morning...He refuses to send anyone else because he wants to personally drive me to the airport as he thinks that times have changed now and it is not safe for a woman to be travelling alone at that hour.. So sweet and thoughtful isnt it?! Through this journey of an hour or so from my home to the airport we have very interesting conversations...topics ranging from the good old days (!) to politics to cricket and Bollywood. I enjoy myself thoroughly discussing various hot topics and its interesting to hear his perspective as well...

Off late paaji has not been able to come as his eyesight has worsened and he does not want to take the risk of driving in the morning...I am missing you paaji and i enjoyed the times i spent with you....

Its a new driver...a new route and the beginning of new relationship...but i miss the old times....

Thank You Mom....

For sometime now I have been wanting to get into some hobby which would become a passion that I could look forward to...a passion that I can escape to.. forgetting all the stresses of day to day life...a passion that I could master...

Surprisngly, it was my mom who introduced me to Sudoku! She started doing the puzzle everyday and used to tell me " I am physically very active but I dont want my brains to degenerate at this age...so this indulgence!!!". Initially, I wasnt taking to it too much...felt it was cumbersome to be involved with numbers...plus have never been the numbers person (Astonishingly, I am a wizard when it comes to recollecting phone numbers though!!! dont ask me how!!)..... dont forget I scouted for a school that would offer me another option for Mathematics!!!!

Lately, I have been getting attracted to "The digits must occur only once" puzzle like a moth to the fire (as cliched as it may sound!). Whenever I get time to myself, I find myself sitting with all the old newspapers and solving Howard Garns puzzles..I love challenges and this new challenge keeps my brain ticking all the time...Its a passtime that is fast turning into a passion and i am enjoying it to the hilt! Prague here I come!!!

Where is the public outcry?

Nothing has shaken me more in recent times than the Nithaari murders. It took me a while to register the news; I refused to believe that I live in a place where such gruesome crimes could be committed; I refused to acknowledge that the Moninder’s and the Surinder’s are very much part of our social fabric. I am yet to come to terms with what has happened (or should I?).

It’s been just over a month or so since the Nithaari killings came to light. The first few weeks saw all news channels carrying only this sensational news for quite a while... interviews with affected families, psychologists, lawyers, anyone who had any remote connection to Nithaari but of course not much of the police because they are had goofed up considerably on this case. We heard and saw the protests made by affected families; helpless cries for justice. It’s been over a month now and there isnt any significant coverage of these killings. One hears the stray news that the CBI is close to filing a charge sheet and that’s about it.

I wonder why isn’t there a public outrage and pressure to take on the system especially the police for goof ups that they have made; why isn’t the public talking about speedy justice; why isn’t anyone addressing the grievances of the affected families? The Jessica Lal’s, the Mattoo’s received so much attention from the public and consistent pressure worked in moving the case to their decisive ends…why isn’t such a thing happening here?? Can’t we identify with the families who have lost their children so gruesomely and have been living with hope that one day their children will come back to them??

Out of sight, out of mind?

Haven’t we heard this phrase several times in our lives? I am sure many of u would have experienced it as well. Recently I met a long time friend of mine. We met up like old timers having to catch up on so many things that we wanted to share with each other. Hours together seemed like minutes but we were glad that we could atleast get that time together. In the euphoria that followed, we promised to stay in touch more regularly and call each other more often. I got back into my world with new found energy and friendship and looking forward to the days that would come by when I could cement my friendship further. Was looking forward to the exchanges, the leg pulling…but was i expecting too much? ..

Left me wondering about the depth of the friendship, the bygone days when in our childhood friends meant the world to us!! where have those days gone??

Guess it was a case of out of sight, out of mind or was I too much of an emotional fool or am i just over reacting??!!!

Spoilt by the East

My recent travels have taken me to four countries in as many months. Three of them in the Asia region and one in Europe. I am someone who adapts to a new situation pretty easily without much fuss. I have been put up in very decent hotels in all my recent trips abroad. In Asia, all the hotels I stayed in had spacious rooms, comfortable bathrooms, excellent room service (very important criteria for me to judge a hotel as I tend to order a lot in my room as I work late!) and well organized conference facilities. Staff tend to go out of the way to assist you and make a guest feel comfortable. Have left most of these hotels with a smile on my face!

In stark contrast, the hotel room I stayed in London was extremely small, claustrophobic and room service wasn’t up to the mark. The staff were far from courteous (sniffing racism here??!!) and I sensed a disinterest and an urge to pack off guests as soon as possible.

The experience also left me wondering what these so called developed western countries have achieved! Asians have this history of pampering one and all and for once I wasn’t cribbing!!