Greenhorn in my own country!

Goa is a place that I love going to....I can safely say this despite my recent experience!!



We usually head to South Goa - we like the tranquilness of this place and gives us the much needed break from maddening civilization. This time we decided we should explore the sun kissed beaches of North Goa. There we were, on one of our favourite rail routes in the country - the Konkan railway route. With kids, sometimes, it can get pretty tedious but with the amount of travelling we have done this year, our kids have adapted really well and they enjoy themselves from the time we leave our home! Touchwood!

This time around Goa had something different to offer us! Apart from the sun soaked beaches, every second person we bumped into was a foreigner! Every second house in every single lane, housed a restaurant offering anything from local Goan delicacies to all kinds of European cuisine! Trinkets, 'Original Fake' (!!!!!) items, Tibetan shawls and antiques, beach wear, see through clothing, you name it and it was there for picking up in every nook and corner of Baga and Calangute beach area. By the end of day one, I was tired of bargaining and started giving every shop owner those dirty looks when they quoted an astronomical price!!!

Didn't I have my fair share on day one? Do I need to go on on day two and exhaust myself further??!!!

The never give up spirit in me came alive after my morning cup of tea on day two and I was damn ready to attack the flea market the next day! What was in store for me was something I didn't expect and bargain for!

Here was a place that had more than 200 stalls mostly run by Indians. Just like what was on the streets, u could just about get anything for dirt cheap price in these markets. What took me by surprise was not the vast array of things that were available nor did the haggling and the bargaining! For the first time in my life, I was being treated like a second citizen in my own country!! Every stall you enter, you look around and pick things you like and start a conversation with the stall owner....the minute they realize a foreigner is close to entering their stall, they drop you like a hot potato and go behind them without really bothering about your existence!! Time and again I experienced this in all the stalls and in almost all the places we went to from there on.

I do realize that their main source of income from the foreign tourists and Indians go there on short holidays (like honeymoon) or during the christmas / new year season only. This does not mean that the rest of the population are right royally ignored. I managed to pick a discussion (which later turned into an argument then a sermon!!!) with quite a few people there! Somehow this experience didn't go down well with me and I am still trying to reason it out....

Until then I am going to enjoy and share the good memories of the trip and bask in the happiness and contentment of having spent a decade with my companion!! Cheers to us!!! :)

TRPs and the TV crap!

I can safely say that in the last few months I have become a TV junkie!!! Give me anything - a generous dose of reality trash or tear jerker serials or repetitive breaking news and i can watch them through the day!! My newspaper addiction has been replaced by the idiot box!!! I am now a certified couch potato!!! Therefore this gives me the right (and the responsibility!!!)i guess to comment on some trash that has been going on for a while!

For sometime now, everything that has been happening on TV here in India is being governed by TRPs (for the uninitiated - and gladly so - Television Rating Points)and day after day trash is being generated citing these points!!! I for one, refuse to believe that Indian audiences would want such trash to be generated day after day for months and years together! I think the audience is much more sensitive and sensible these days and i think there is a level of consciousness that is apparent in many cases!

Would like to cite two examples from recent shows that have made me hopping mad!!

1. Hindustan Times leadership summit! This is an annual event and this year on day two (if i am not mistaken) the guests of honour were hold ur breath (!!) George W Bush and now! don't fall off your chair reading this! - Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In a leadership summit all that the latter two could talk was about their relationship, her size zero and what not!!! Give me a break! This was supposed to be a summit that was to discuss vision 2020!! I agree people from the film industry should be a part of this summit but these 2? please! There are several others who have a whole body of work behind them and who can articulate a vision for the industry much better!!

So was this yet another case of TRPs winning over apparent merit??

2. On Zee TV, there is a serial running presently called 'Aapki Antara'. This is a serial about an autistic child and how she makes a positive difference in the life of the people whom she comes in contact with. Also towards the end of the show, real autistic people are shown and an interview with the family (usually the mother) is played. I am kind of fond of this serial for several reasons - a) rarely do tv series highlight issues like autism. I am certain that the awareness regarding this neural development disorder has increased quite a bit because of this serial b) it is a very sensitive portrayal of the girl and the situations she faces. It is very realistic and situations and the characters are very believable.

This serial comes in around 8:30pm - a time when most of the family can sit and watch. But lo and behold! the time change is happening and the serial is moved to a late night timing - 10:30pm and it is being replaced by maybe yet another trash tear jerker!!!

Does advertising and the money that comes from it have a final say in all this??? Sensibilities don't rule here I guess!

A disappointed me signing off with a prayer on my lips and hope in my heart that i can trash this idiot box fixation and get on to better things in life :)

By popular demand, I am back!!!

Nice to know that many of u have been reading my blog while I have been lazing around and now u r nudging me to get back!!

Thanks! thats a nice ego boost and would love to get back to regular blogging!!

chao! see u soon!

A service so thoughtful...

Recently there was a death in the family and I happened to be there to witness almost all the rituals associated with the cremation of the dead person. I have my own reservations about the rituals that are followed in our community but what touched me the most was the service that was rendered by few elderly men from my community to all sundry who need it. Let me rewind a bit....

Years back a group of men who were nearing retirement got together and decided that they would help families who have lost their near and dear ones and who are not in a state to plan the cremation all by themselves. With the help of the limited resources they had they made contacts with the local crematorium (so that u don’t have to wait for long for ur turn to come!), contacted vendors who sell things related to a cremation (new clothes, puja items etc etc), organised a death certificate from the local municipality and most importantly these days (they come at a premium believe me!) arranged the pandits!!! As soon as they come to know that there has been a death (mainly through word of mouth and through the hospitals and doctors that they are in contact with) they take over the proceedings and ensure that the family doesn’t have to run around at such difficult times and face red tapism, corruption and other issues at such a sensitive moment in their lives.

Best of all this is that, it is voluntary work and they don’t charge a penny for this!! You could donate whatever u want to, to the group...that’s about it. In today’s times we rarely get to see such a selfless service. I have seen so many charity activities in the last few years that I have been in this field but haven’t come across anything more thoughtful and sensitive.
Hats off to this group of young men!

Culinary Novice.....

Cooking and me have always been far apart....during my late teens and early twenties when most girls were busy coaxed by their mothers to learn some basic cooking, my mom used to never let me enter the kitchen! She used to say when the time comes u will learn to make a meal so don’t waste your time now!!! At that time I found what mom said to be very weird because she was so unlike the rest of the pack!! Later, as I grew older and wiser (!!), I realised my mom was way ahead of her times! She wanted me to learn other important skills in life and she was egging me on to take on bigger challenges in life!

Today when I look back I am so glad I am not one of those kitchen bound women (no offence please!) who find it difficult to let go and get insecure if that space of theirs is taken by another woman!

Now, as a desperate attempt to get some distraction in life, I have taken to cooking like never before....I was never one of those who liked to cook a regular meal...this time I have taken to making desserts and puddings! I find myself looking up sites for interesting recipes, talking to friends who have tried some simple mouth watering recipes. The enthusiasm has gone up several notches as the first two attempts have received good reviews and I have been nudged to try more!!

I am finding my energies channelized in a yummy way and I am finding this very therapeutic!

For those interested in getting simple dessert recipes, mail me!!!

IPL fever is back!

I was one of those who was initially skeptical about the way the IPL would take shape but as the inaugural version kicked off i was hooked to each and every game and ofcourse my money was on Chennai Super Kings...I watched the spectacular closing ceremony and the finals of season one and i was awe struck...i knew and realised then why all other sportpersons in this country crib about the kind of atention cricket receives here....obscene amount of money was spent on not just getting players in the teams, but getting cheerleaders, the advertising, the merchandise etc etc ...

Season 2 is going to start within the next few days....it begins with the auctions! Pakistan players are not going to be there...not sure if they are going to be missed...except Sohail Tanveer of Rajasthan Royals...who was the spearhead bowler and gave several match winning performances! Clarke has pulled out and its expected many other Aussies would not join in too...A lot of speculation going on that KP is going to beat MSD in terms of the highest paid non icon figure. Apparently, Royal Challengers are really keen to get him!!! Lot of internal shuffling happening too...Uttappa swapped with Zaheer Khan...similarly other teams are planning their strategies too...

The glamour quotient got bigger too...Shilpa becomes a co-owner of Rajasthan Royals! Smart move i must say! She is really cashing in on her popularity in UK..now that English players are jumping into the IPL this season!

Me?? I am going to glued to any bit of information that going to come by on the IPL...I somehow dislike Lalit Modi but need to give it to him - he has created a humdinger!

How far will u go for money??

Few days back i happened to watch The Moment of Truth for the first time. Was channel surfing and chanced upon this reality show. Five minutes of viewing and i was hooked. The questions got personal with each level and as a viewer i started getting very uncomfortable. But i was amazed by the ease with which the contestants could answer some very touchy questions especially in front of their family members....

left me wondering....is this all staged?? like WWF (oops! its called WWE now!) or are people really willing to put their personal relationships at stake for that kind of money??? A lot of us do keep some part of our lives closely to ourselves and would probably share with close friends only so what prompts someone to share such sensitive stuff on national TV?? With so many reality shows hitting Indian TV, that day is not far away when an Indian version of this show comes on one of our channels!

The firang connection!

I have been observing a recent phenomenon in Bollywood....the advent of dancers from the west!! Off late, I don’t get to see any popular song and dance with the local dancers - u name a chartbuster from any movie in recent times or for that matter chat shows and it has gori girls gyrating to oft so heard tunes of music composers. Also there are hardly any gora dancers in these groups mind u!!! Whereas this was not the case with local dancers...the hero always had male dancers giving him a run for his money in the background!

This is happening inspite of several reality dance shows which have given wanna be choreographers a good break in the film industry...a case in point is Rajeev Surti . For those who have watched Nach Baliye season 1 will remember, he was the choreographer for varun and rajeshwari and he mesmerised one and all with his unique style and grace. It was his luck that Farhan Akhtar was one of the judges on the show and he promptly signed him on for Don!!! The rest they say is history. There are several such success stories in the past few years – reality tv is big time in India these days and every channel worth its money has a dance show on it.

Despite these developments why are our choreographers (there are no firangs who have come in this category as yet – it is still ruled by the Khans and the Merchants!!!) , producers and directors looking for company from the west?? Hold on!! I am not ad venting here a viewpoint thrown by quite a few philosophy redundant political parties or proving a case in point for them but I am raising this because I am curious as to know why this development has taken place when there is no dearth of talent on this front in this country.

A silent prayer....

for sometime now i have been doing this but now i am verbalising it....

8 months back a dream was realised...8 months back a new lease of life for an infant...8 months back life changed for ever...

amidst all this, i found myself often shedding silent tears for an unknown woman.. a woman who had to take a tough and painful decision....a woman who would have spent several sleepless nights........a woman who couldnt show her face to the world......

A MOTHER who relinquished her baby........

all that i can say to her is THANK U for giving us ur precious little one and DONT WORRY we will take care of your little one...

you are in my prayers wherever u r.........

Re starting with a THANK YOU!

as i begin the first post of 09 there are several people i would like to thank....first and foremost...

MY SON....for entering our lives and making it special in every way possible...

MY HUBBY...for helping me realise a long cherished dream....

MY PARENTS...for always being supportive ..........

AND

MY DAUGHTER....for keeping me on my toes thru 08!!!!!!!!! (pssst.....i have lost several pounds in this process!!!)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!

Oh racist – we are!

Ever since the monkey episode happened one fine day on the Sydney cricket field, there have been several debates and discussions on whether at all we Indians are racists. Initially there was hue and cry on how we have been wronged and we need to give the Aussies back in the same manner. Slowly as the matter started settling down, there was some introspection about whether at all we are really racists at heart.

For me, there is no doubt in my mind that we are racists and are struggling to get over the firang hangover! See the matrimonial advertisements for instance. Have u ever come across an ad that doesn’t mention the word fair, beautiful? Aren’t our idiot boxes filled with fairness cream ads? how many times have we (I mean girls) been told to carry an umbrella on a harsh sunny day so as to avoid a tan?! Why aren’t boys ever asked to carry an umbrella on a sunny day?!!! I always wonder! Are any of our movie heroines dark and dusky? How many pregnant women have been given saffron (the wonder spice that is supposed to bring about ‘fair’ babies) mixed in their milk?

The list is endless. I have come across very few men and women who have moved beyond this and have looked at the inner beauty of people. For a lot of people I guess there is no time and inclination to see what’s hidden beneath the skin.

Oh! This pseudo world!

Few days back I happened to go a mall nearby with my daughter. Just as we were stepping out of the mall with several shopping bags, I noticed that a lady security guard was stopping three young boys (must be in their late teens), shabbily dressed but keen to get into the mall to probably to get a dekho of the glitter and the glamour. They were pleading to get into the mall to just roam around and she outright refused them permission. All individuals entering a mall have to go thru the metal detector these days and have to open their bags as well for security reasons. If these boys (from their appearance it looked like they were from a economically and socially poor background) passed these tests and were going ahead, why weren’t they allowed to go in? What threat did they pose when they were not carrying anything? Didn’t they have the right to do some harmless window shopping? Or was it their fault that they weren’t showing off a Prada or a Gucci or one of those obnoxious brands? Why are there different set of rules for different strata of people?


But for the numerous shopping bags that was becoming unmanageable and a toddler who was running away from my gaze, I would have come up to fight this case. The saddest part of this experience is that there are very few people who want to take up such a cause, they would rather be mute spectators, not get their hands dirty and have such ‘entertainment’ for their outing.

Wake up people!

Began with a bang...

Welcomed the New Year rather quietly this time.......it was a welcome change as generally we tend to party and bring in the New Year it more a spiritual experience this time!

The best part of the new beginning was (apart from the resolutions, which I will those later) that we watched Taare Zameen Par on the first day of this year! What a movie! Loved every bit of it! A must watch for all parents and teachers…it takes guts to make such a debut movie…only a sensitive and a socially responsible person could make a movie like this….the child artist is a great find! Those who haven’t seen the movie as yet….please go right away….and what hit me the most when I saw the movie….the example of Solomon islands …those who have seen the movie will know what I am referring to! After a long time I cried buckets and buckets in a movie!

Aamir Khan I salute thee!

This week I happened to watch another lovely movie….a tamil one after a really long time. ‘Mozhi’.....simple story line, lovely screenplay and dialogues, brilliant songs and music. Loved the positive angle of dealing with a physically challenged person in this movie. I am glad I waited this long to watch a nice tamil movie…

The year has begun well and I hope I continue to see more such movies….

Happy new year all of you!

I am Back!

There seems to be a pattern to this hibernation….whenever I feel low it looks like I don’t like to get to cyber space and whenever things seem to be looking up I tend to get back here…....hope I stay here longer this time around!

Where are the Purists?!

Yesterday I had the pleasure of watching the India vs. Pakistan Twenty 20 match...Didn’t get to see the full match but I did manage to catch the highlights. What a thriller!! I enjoyed every minute of the game and I loved the final bowl over to decide the winner. It was exciting, adrenalin pumping and fun all the way. I have not enjoyed cricket like this for a long time now. It’s not too long, its great entertainment for the crowds, its a mela atmosphere with cheerleaders getting into action every few minutes, drums playing round the clock, the batsmen and the bowlers seem to be having their share of exuberance and most importantly (for the cricketers!!) its pots and pots of money!!!!!!!!!!!

I know several friends of mine who enjoy only the longer version of the game; I wonder what they would have to say about this really shortened adaptation of the game!!!

The match fixing, the slump in Indian cricket (thanks to a ‘gentleman’ called Mr.Chappel) had taken away my interest in the game for some time. With T20 I am back!!! CHEERS!!!

My beliefs vs. My friendships

For some time now I have been battling this dilemma in my mind....whether to go with my values / beliefs or to stick to new friendships that I have made in the recent past.

I am quite against the idea of having children working in any kind of circumstances. Call it the righteousness in me or the background of my exposure in the development field, but I can’t fathom children working in homes leave alone working in difficult circumstances such as coal mines, firework factories etc. A few friends of mine do have young children, within 16 years of age, whom they have as full time help in their homes. In India it’s illegal to make children work and recently child labour in homes was also recognised as an offence and made punishable. I have been toying with the idea of gently telling these friends of mine that I don’t think what they are doing is right. I am not sure how it is going to be received; are they going to be offended?

How do I deal with my conscience? What answers do I give myself when I see those children? Do I choose friendship over something I believe in? I am grappling with this predicament and hope I can sort this out soon.

My greatest fear...

In the last couple of months, there has been 3 deaths in the building where i live. The first two were natural deaths while the third one has shaken everyone in the building. A young mother of two children (boy aged 4.5 and girl aged 2.5 yrs) died suddenly one morning. No one knew what had happened; she died alone at home with her daughter beside her. What happened to her? why didnt she call any of us for help? was she sick, depressed?? what would happen to the children? Several questions remain unanswered. Chhavi is gone but we are left grappling with various questions...

This unfortunate incident has driven home several points. One, life is too unpredictable; no one knows whats going to happen to them tomorrow. Second, death has always been a distant reality for me till now. I have read in several places that death is the biggest fear that people have. When i used to read this, it used to touch me at the cerebral level only. This incident has hit me hard; it has instilled a fear in me of losing my near and dear ones.

It has instilled the fear of death in me...

Pangs of growing up!

My daughter turned 3 during the peak Indian summer this year. She has been a talkative child from the time she has learned to speak! Her memory for names and people has been phenomenal from a young age. Slowly, i see her friends circle expanding. She has her set of favourites with whom she is very paly with all the time and another set with whom she blows hot and cold from time to time.

I see groups being formed and sometimes she is part of it and sometimes she is not. I see her getting upset when some of her friends dont play with her and alienate her..

I dont know whether it is common for every mother to feel so but I do feel bad when my daughter is left out and she feels upset. My maternal instinct wants me to reach out and help her in such situations. But i hold back and tell myself that she will learn to deal with such situations and all this is part of life.

Whether or not my daughter realises this or not i dont know but i can feel the pangs of her growing up!!

Oh freedom! I Love you..

I am writing this blog post from Afghanistan…a place that would never have been on my list of countries that I would love to visit!! Nevertheless work has brought me here and when I was asked to go from my office I didn’t batter an eyelid for a second and thought this would be an opportunity to go to a country that I wouldn’t imagine going to.

As the plane lands in kabul all that one can see is barren land all around…brown, dry and depressing. The airport is full of army helicopters, bunkers and broken down aircrafts and so on.. again depressing….As I enter the airport a passport control officer spots me and points to my bindi and says u! come here! I instantly realise that I am standing out (in the plane from Delhi there are only 2 women and I am one of them) in a crowd because of my bindi!!! Alarm bells starting ringing!! Why is he calling me? What have I done?? Nevertheless he was only trying to help me by clearing my immigration as fast as possible. Gosh! The evil mind that I have!!!

I was supposed to be booked at an ecotel hotel and I was excited about being in a ‘resort’ in a city like Kabul!! I near the hotel and the driver gets off and opens the door. I ask him very innocently whether we have reached because all I can see is a fortress in front of me! The gates of the fortress open and there is the ‘resort’! I swallowed hard and came to terms with what I was seeing in front of me. If I was to compare this place with some hotel in India it would probably be like a two star hotel! Anyway, I have lived in terrible conditions in the past and as usual I was quick to adjust myself to this new situation as well.

Minutes after I settle in I am called for a security briefing! Curfew rules, cover your head, wear full sleeve clothes, radio handset to everyone, no moving out alone anywhere, no shopping (yes! No shopping!! U read that right!!), no eating out, no public transport etc etc. I was expecting this so it was not a surprise to me. Though what struck me hard and I am still thinking about it is how much we take our freedom for granted back home. Small things upset us; we crib about freedom of expression, movement etc etc and here is a place where your life is at risk every minute of your life; life is unpredictable and need to be cautious even while you are indoors or sleeping. Are we not glad that we can go for a drive whenever and wherever we want you? Are we not glad we can go to any shop any time of the day? Are we not glad we can move around anywhere without people keeping track of where we are?

So for all those of u who are reading this post put your life in perspective. Stop cribbing about the small things in life, live life to the fullest, make the most of what u have now coz u never know when it is going to go away from u, live in the present moment and most importantly enjoy your freedom!

Taxi Paaji

Hello! I am back!

This is something I have been wanting to write for a while now but somehow havent done so till now...Its one of the most endearing relationships I have been in...

My work often takes me out of town mainly to Delhi within the country. I tend to take the early morning flight to Delhi. I regularly call a cab service early in the morning to take me to the airport. The driver is a 70+ sardarji..he is the person who comes whenever I call for a cab early in the morning...He refuses to send anyone else because he wants to personally drive me to the airport as he thinks that times have changed now and it is not safe for a woman to be travelling alone at that hour.. So sweet and thoughtful isnt it?! Through this journey of an hour or so from my home to the airport we have very interesting conversations...topics ranging from the good old days (!) to politics to cricket and Bollywood. I enjoy myself thoroughly discussing various hot topics and its interesting to hear his perspective as well...

Off late paaji has not been able to come as his eyesight has worsened and he does not want to take the risk of driving in the morning...I am missing you paaji and i enjoyed the times i spent with you....

Its a new driver...a new route and the beginning of new relationship...but i miss the old times....