Odyssey into my world.......

Mall-ed In

2010-01-09T16:55:00.004+05:30

As my kids grow up I am feeling increasingly claustrophobic in a city like Mumbai. Open spaces are becoming fewer by the hour and the only place where most families head to during the weekends is one of the swanky malls that have come up in prime lands throughout the satellite city.

Cant blame the parents for this phenomenon! In this concrete jungle, all that one can see is buildings and more buildings all over. Parents have to take a lot of effort to plan a weekend trip to the outskirts (which is easily 50-60 kms away!)to have a nice family time closer to nature!

I miss the days when we used to go to local parks to play, climb trees, cycle to friends homes, gather near a pond and while away time throwing stones, make sand castles near by!

Sigh! I don't envy the childhood of kids of this day and age :(

Greenhorn in my own country!

2009-12-17T15:12:00.014+05:30

Goa is a place that I love going to....I can safely say this despite my recent experience!!

We usually head to South Goa - we like the tranquilness of this place and gives us the much needed break from maddening civilization. This time we decided we should explore the sun kissed beaches of North Goa. There we were, on one of our favourite rail routes in the country - the Konkan railway route. With kids, sometimes, it can get pretty tedious but with the amount of travelling we have done this year, our kids have adapted really well and they enjoy themselves from the time we leave our home! Touchwood!

This time around Goa had something different to offer us! Apart from the sun soaked beaches, every second person we bumped into was a foreigner! Every second house in every single lane, housed a restaurant offering anything from local Goan delicacies to all kinds of European cuisine! Trinkets, 'Original Fake' (!!!!!) items, Tibetan shawls and antiques, beach wear, see through clothing, you name it and it was there for picking up in every nook and corner of Baga and Calangute beach area. By the end of day one, I was tired of bargaining and started giving every shop owner those dirty looks when they quoted an astronomical price!!!

Didn't I have my fair share on day one? Do I need to go on on day two and exhaust myself further??!!!

The never give up spirit in me came alive after my morning cup of tea on day two and I was damn ready to attack the flea market the next day! What was in store for me was something I didn't expect and bargain for!

Here was a place that had more than 200 stalls mostly run by Indians. Just like what was on the streets, u could just about get anything for dirt cheap price in these markets. What took me by surprise was not the vast array of things that were available nor did the haggling and the bargaining! For the first time in my life, I was being treated like a second citizen in my own country!! Every stall you enter, you look around and pick things you like and start a conversation with the stall owner....the minute they realize a foreigner is close to entering their stall, they drop you like a hot potato and go behind them without really bothering about your existence!! Time and again I experienced this in all the stalls and in almost all the places we went to from there on.

I do realize that their main source of income from the foreign tourists and Indians go there on short holidays (like honeymoon) or during the christmas / new year season only. This does not mean that the rest of the population are right royally ignored. I managed to pick a discussion (which later turned into an argument then a sermon!!!) with quite a few people there! Somehow this experience didn't go down well with me and I am still trying to reason it out....

Until then I am going to enjoy and share the good memories of the trip and bask in the happiness and contentment of having spent a decade with my companion!! Cheers to us!!! :)

TRPs and the TV crap!

2009-11-06T22:42:00.005+05:30

I can safely say that in the last few months I have become a TV junkie!!! Give me anything - a generous dose of reality trash or tear jerker serials or repetitive breaking news and i can watch them through the day!! My newspaper addiction has been replaced by the idiot box!!! I am now a certified couch potato!!! Therefore this gives me the right (and the responsibility!!!)i guess to comment on some trash that has been going on for a while!

For sometime now, everything that has been happening on TV here in India is being governed by TRPs (for the uninitiated - and gladly so - Television Rating Points)and day after day trash is being generated citing these points!!! I for one, refuse to believe that Indian audiences would want such trash to be generated day after day for months and years together! I think the audience is much more sensitive and sensible these days and i think there is a level of consciousness that is apparent in many cases!

Would like to cite two examples from recent shows that have made me hopping mad!!

1. Hindustan Times leadership summit! This is an annual event and this year on day two (if i am not mistaken) the guests of honour were hold ur breath (!!) George W Bush and now! don't fall off your chair reading this! - Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In a leadership summit all that the latter two could talk was about their relationship, her size zero and what not!!! Give me a break! This was supposed to be a summit that was to discuss vision 2020!! I agree people from the film industry should be a part of this summit but these 2? please! There are several others who have a whole body of work behind them and who can articulate a vision for the industry much better!!

So was this yet another case of TRPs winning over apparent merit??

2. On Zee TV, there is a serial running presently called 'Aapki Antara'. This is a serial about an autistic child and how she makes a positive difference in the life of the people whom she comes in contact with. Also towards the end of the show, real autistic people are shown and an interview with the family (usually the mother) is played. I am kind of fond of this serial for several reasons - a) rarely do tv series highlight issues like autism. I am certain that the awareness regarding this neural development disorder has increased quite a bit because of this serial b) it is a very sensitive portrayal of the girl and the situations she faces. It is very realistic and situations and the characters are very believable.

This serial comes in around 8:30pm - a time when most of the family can sit and watch. But lo and behold! the time change is happening and the serial is moved to a late night timing - 10:30pm and it is being replaced by maybe yet another trash tear jerker!!!

Does advertising and the money that comes from it have a final say in all this??? Sensibilities don't rule here I guess!

A disappointed me signing off with a prayer on my lips and hope in my heart that i can trash this idiot box fixation and get on to better things in life :)

By popular demand, I am back!!!

2009-11-06T22:38:00.001+05:30

Nice to know that many of u have been reading my blog while I have been lazing around and now u r nudging me to get back!!

Thanks! thats a nice ego boost and would love to get back to regular blogging!!

chao! see u soon!

A service so thoughtful...

2009-04-07T15:37:00.001+05:30

Recently there was a death in the family and I happened to be there to witness almost all the rituals associated with the cremation of the dead person. I have my own reservations about the rituals that are followed in our community but what touched me the most was the service that was rendered by few elderly men from my community to all sundry who need it. Let me rewind a bit....

Years back a group of men who were nearing retirement got together and decided that they would help families who have lost their near and dear ones and who are not in a state to plan the cremation all by themselves. With the help of the limited resources they had they made contacts with the local crematorium (so that u don’t have to wait for long for ur turn to come!), contacted vendors who sell things related to a cremation (new clothes, puja items etc etc), organised a death certificate from the local municipality and most importantly these days (they come at a premium believe me!) arranged the pandits!!! As soon as they come to know that there has been a death (mainly through word of mouth and through the hospitals and doctors that they are in contact with) they take over the proceedings and ensure that the family doesn’t have to run around at such difficult times and face red tapism, corruption and other issues at such a sensitive moment in their lives.

Best of all this is that, it is voluntary work and they don’t charge a penny for this!! You could donate whatever u want to, to the group...that’s about it. In today’s times we rarely get to see such a selfless service. I have seen so many charity activities in the last few years that I have been in this field but haven’t come across anything more thoughtful and sensitive.
Hats off to this group of young men!

Culinary Novice.....

2009-02-10T17:12:00.000+05:30

Cooking and me have always been far apart....during my late teens and early twenties when most girls were busy coaxed by their mothers to learn some basic cooking, my mom used to never let me enter the kitchen! She used to say when the time comes u will learn to make a meal so don’t waste your time now!!! At that time I found what mom said to be very weird because she was so unlike the rest of the pack!! Later, as I grew older and wiser (!!), I realised my mom was way ahead of her times! She wanted me to learn other important skills in life and she was egging me on to take on bigger challenges in life!

Today when I look back I am so glad I am not one of those kitchen bound women (no offence please!) who find it difficult to let go and get insecure if that space of theirs is taken by another woman!

Now, as a desperate attempt to get some distraction in life, I have taken to cooking like never before....I was never one of those who liked to cook a regular meal...this time I have taken to making desserts and puddings! I find myself looking up sites for interesting recipes, talking to friends who have tried some simple mouth watering recipes. The enthusiasm has gone up several notches as the first two attempts have received good reviews and I have been nudged to try more!!

I am finding my energies channelized in a yummy way and I am finding this very therapeutic!

For those interested in getting simple dessert recipes, mail me!!!

IPL fever is back!

2009-02-05T11:29:00.005+05:30

I was one of those who was initially skeptical about the way the IPL would take shape but as the inaugural version kicked off i was hooked to each and every game and ofcourse my money was on Chennai Super Kings...I watched the spectacular closing ceremony and the finals of season one and i was awe struck...i knew and realised then why all other sportpersons in this country crib about the kind of atention cricket receives here....obscene amount of money was spent on not just getting players in the teams, but getting cheerleaders, the advertising, the merchandise etc etc ...

Season 2 is going to start within the next few days....it begins with the auctions! Pakistan players are not going to be there...not sure if they are going to be missed...except Sohail Tanveer of Rajasthan Royals...who was the spearhead bowler and gave several match winning performances! Clarke has pulled out and its expected many other Aussies would not join in too...A lot of speculation going on that KP is going to beat MSD in terms of the highest paid non icon figure. Apparently, Royal Challengers are really keen to get him!!! Lot of internal shuffling happening too...Uttappa swapped with Zaheer Khan...similarly other teams are planning their strategies too...

The glamour quotient got bigger too...Shilpa becomes a co-owner of Rajasthan Royals! Smart move i must say! She is really cashing in on her popularity in UK..now that English players are jumping into the IPL this season!

Me?? I am going to glued to any bit of information that going to come by on the IPL...I somehow dislike Lalit Modi but need to give it to him - he has created a humdinger!

How far will u go for money??

2009-02-05T11:10:00.011+05:30

Few days back i happened to watch The Moment of Truth for the first time. Was channel surfing and chanced upon this reality show. Five minutes of viewing and i was hooked. The questions got personal with each level and as a viewer i started getting very uncomfortable. But i was amazed by the ease with which the contestants could answer some very touchy questions especially in front of their family members....

left me wondering....is this all staged?? like WWF (oops! its called WWE now!) or are people really willing to put their personal relationships at stake for that kind of money??? A lot of us do keep some part of our lives closely to ourselves and would probably share with close friends only so what prompts someone to share such sensitive stuff on national TV?? With so many reality shows hitting Indian TV, that day is not far away when an Indian version of this show comes on one of our channels!

The firang connection!

2009-02-04T18:16:00.024+05:30

I have been observing a recent phenomenon in Bollywood....the advent of dancers from the west!! Off late, I don’t get to see any popular song and dance with the local dancers - u name a chartbuster from any movie in recent times or for that matter chat shows and it has gori girls gyrating to oft so heard tunes of music composers. Also there are hardly any gora dancers in these groups mind u!!! Whereas this was not the case with local dancers...the hero always had male dancers giving him a run for his money in the background!

This is happening inspite of several reality dance shows which have given wanna be choreographers a good break in the film industry...a case in point is Rajeev Surti . For those who have watched Nach Baliye season 1 will remember, he was the choreographer for varun and rajeshwari and he mesmerised one and all with his unique style and grace. It was his luck that Farhan Akhtar was one of the judges on the show and he promptly signed him on for Don!!! The rest they say is history. There are several such success stories in the past few years – reality tv is big time in India these days and every channel worth its money has a dance show on it.

Despite these developments why are our choreographers (there are no firangs who have come in this category as yet – it is still ruled by the Khans and the Merchants!!!) , producers and directors looking for company from the west?? Hold on!! I am not ad venting here a viewpoint thrown by quite a few philosophy redundant political parties or proving a case in point for them but I am raising this because I am curious as to know why this development has taken place when there is no dearth of talent on this front in this country.

A silent prayer....

2009-01-02T16:10:00.002+05:30

for sometime now i have been doing this but now i am verbalising it....

8 months back a dream was realised...8 months back a new lease of life for an infant...8 months back life changed for ever...

amidst all this, i found myself often shedding silent tears for an unknown woman.. a woman who had to take a tough and painful decision....a woman who would have spent several sleepless nights........a woman who couldnt show her face to the world......

A MOTHER who relinquished her baby........

all that i can say to her is THANK U for giving us ur precious little one and DONT WORRY we will take care of your little one...

you are in my prayers wherever u r.........

Re starting with a THANK YOU!

2009-01-02T15:57:00.002+05:30

as i begin the first post of 09 there are several people i would like to thank....first and foremost...

MY SON....for entering our lives and making it special in every way possible...

MY HUBBY...for helping me realise a long cherished dream....

MY PARENTS...for always being supportive ..........

AND

MY DAUGHTER....for keeping me on my toes thru 08!!!!!!!!! (pssst.....i have lost several pounds in this process!!!)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!

Oh racist – we are!

2008-02-06T16:06:00.000+05:30

Ever since the monkey episode happened one fine day on the Sydney cricket field, there have been several debates and discussions on whether at all we Indians are racists. Initially there was hue and cry on how we have been wronged and we need to give the Aussies back in the same manner. Slowly as the matter started settling down, there was some introspection about whether at all we are really racists at heart.

For me, there is no doubt in my mind that we are racists and are struggling to get over the firang hangover! See the matrimonial advertisements for instance. Have u ever come across an ad that doesn’t mention the word fair, beautiful? Aren’t our idiot boxes filled with fairness cream ads? how many times have we (I mean girls) been told to carry an umbrella on a harsh sunny day so as to avoid a tan?! Why aren’t boys ever asked to carry an umbrella on a sunny day?!!! I always wonder! Are any of our movie heroines dark and dusky? How many pregnant women have been given saffron (the wonder spice that is supposed to bring about ‘fair’ babies) mixed in their milk?

The list is endless. I have come across very few men and women who have moved beyond this and have looked at the inner beauty of people. For a lot of people I guess there is no time and inclination to see what’s hidden beneath the skin.

Oh! This pseudo world!

2008-01-18T09:48:00.000+05:30

Few days back I happened to go a mall nearby with my daughter. Just as we were stepping out of the mall with several shopping bags, I noticed that a lady security guard was stopping three young boys (must be in their late teens), shabbily dressed but keen to get into the mall to probably to get a dekho of the glitter and the glamour. They were pleading to get into the mall to just roam around and she outright refused them permission. All individuals entering a mall have to go thru the metal detector these days and have to open their bags as well for security reasons. If these boys (from their appearance it looked like they were from a economically and socially poor background) passed these tests and were going ahead, why weren’t they allowed to go in? What threat did they pose when they were not carrying anything? Didn’t they have the right to do some harmless window shopping? Or was it their fault that they weren’t showing off a Prada or a Gucci or one of those obnoxious brands? Why are there different set of rules for different strata of people?

But for the numerous shopping bags that was becoming unmanageable and a toddler who was running away from my gaze, I would have come up to fight this case. The saddest part of this experience is that there are very few people who want to take up such a cause, they would rather be mute spectators, not get their hands dirty and have such ‘entertainment’ for their outing.

Wake up people!

Began with a bang...

2008-01-18T09:44:00.000+05:30

Welcomed the New Year rather quietly this time.......it was a welcome change as generally we tend to party and bring in the New Year it more a spiritual experience this time!

The best part of the new beginning was (apart from the resolutions, which I will those later) that we watched Taare Zameen Par on the first day of this year! What a movie! Loved every bit of it! A must watch for all parents and teachers…it takes guts to make such a debut movie…only a sensitive and a socially responsible person could make a movie like this….the child artist is a great find! Those who haven’t seen the movie as yet….please go right away….and what hit me the most when I saw the movie….the example of Solomon islands …those who have seen the movie will know what I am referring to! After a long time I cried buckets and buckets in a movie!

Aamir Khan I salute thee!

This week I happened to watch another lovely movie….a tamil one after a really long time. ‘Mozhi’.....simple story line, lovely screenplay and dialogues, brilliant songs and music. Loved the positive angle of dealing with a physically challenged person in this movie. I am glad I waited this long to watch a nice tamil movie…

The year has begun well and I hope I continue to see more such movies….

Happy new year all of you!

I am Back!

2008-01-18T09:41:00.000+05:30

There seems to be a pattern to this hibernation….whenever I feel low it looks like I don’t like to get to cyber space and whenever things seem to be looking up I tend to get back here…....hope I stay here longer this time around!

Where are the Purists?!

2007-09-15T19:58:00.000+05:30

Yesterday I had the pleasure of watching the India vs. Pakistan Twenty 20 match...Didn’t get to see the full match but I did manage to catch the highlights. What a thriller!! I enjoyed every minute of the game and I loved the final bowl over to decide the winner. It was exciting, adrenalin pumping and fun all the way. I have not enjoyed cricket like this for a long time now. It’s not too long, its great entertainment for the crowds, its a mela atmosphere with cheerleaders getting into action every few minutes, drums playing round the clock, the batsmen and the bowlers seem to be having their share of exuberance and most importantly (for the cricketers!!) its pots and pots of money!!!!!!!!!!!

I know several friends of mine who enjoy only the longer version of the game; I wonder what they would have to say about this really shortened adaptation of the game!!!

The match fixing, the slump in Indian cricket (thanks to a ‘gentleman’ called Mr.Chappel) had taken away my interest in the game for some time. With T20 I am back!!! CHEERS!!!

My beliefs vs. My friendships

2007-09-15T19:56:00.000+05:30

For some time now I have been battling this dilemma in my mind....whether to go with my values / beliefs or to stick to new friendships that I have made in the recent past.

I am quite against the idea of having children working in any kind of circumstances. Call it the righteousness in me or the background of my exposure in the development field, but I can’t fathom children working in homes leave alone working in difficult circumstances such as coal mines, firework factories etc. A few friends of mine do have young children, within 16 years of age, whom they have as full time help in their homes. In India it’s illegal to make children work and recently child labour in homes was also recognised as an offence and made punishable. I have been toying with the idea of gently telling these friends of mine that I don’t think what they are doing is right. I am not sure how it is going to be received; are they going to be offended?

How do I deal with my conscience? What answers do I give myself when I see those children? Do I choose friendship over something I believe in? I am grappling with this predicament and hope I can sort this out soon.

My greatest fear...

2007-09-03T20:45:00.000+05:30

In the last couple of months, there has been 3 deaths in the building where i live. The first two were natural deaths while the third one has shaken everyone in the building. A young mother of two children (boy aged 4.5 and girl aged 2.5 yrs) died suddenly one morning. No one knew what had happened; she died alone at home with her daughter beside her. What happened to her? why didnt she call any of us for help? was she sick, depressed?? what would happen to the children? Several questions remain unanswered. Chhavi is gone but we are left grappling with various questions...

This unfortunate incident has driven home several points. One, life is too unpredictable; no one knows whats going to happen to them tomorrow. Second, death has always been a distant reality for me till now. I have read in several places that death is the biggest fear that people have. When i used to read this, it used to touch me at the cerebral level only. This incident has hit me hard; it has instilled a fear in me of losing my near and dear ones.

It has instilled the fear of death in me...

Pangs of growing up!

2007-09-03T20:39:00.001+05:30

My daughter turned 3 during the peak Indian summer this year. She has been a talkative child from the time she has learned to speak! Her memory for names and people has been phenomenal from a young age. Slowly, i see her friends circle expanding. She has her set of favourites with whom she is very paly with all the time and another set with whom she blows hot and cold from time to time.

I see groups being formed and sometimes she is part of it and sometimes she is not. I see her getting upset when some of her friends dont play with her and alienate her..

I dont know whether it is common for every mother to feel so but I do feel bad when my daughter is left out and she feels upset. My maternal instinct wants me to reach out and help her in such situations. But i hold back and tell myself that she will learn to deal with such situations and all this is part of life.

Whether or not my daughter realises this or not i dont know but i can feel the pangs of her growing up!!

Oh freedom! I Love you..

2007-09-02T19:53:00.000+05:30

I am writing this blog post from Afghanistan…a place that would never have been on my list of countries that I would love to visit!! Nevertheless work has brought me here and when I was asked to go from my office I didn’t batter an eyelid for a second and thought this would be an opportunity to go to a country that I wouldn’t imagine going to.

As the plane lands in kabul all that one can see is barren land all around…brown, dry and depressing. The airport is full of army helicopters, bunkers and broken down aircrafts and so on.. again depressing….As I enter the airport a passport control officer spots me and points to my bindi and says u! come here! I instantly realise that I am standing out (in the plane from Delhi there are only 2 women and I am one of them) in a crowd because of my bindi!!! Alarm bells starting ringing!! Why is he calling me? What have I done?? Nevertheless he was only trying to help me by clearing my immigration as fast as possible. Gosh! The evil mind that I have!!!

I was supposed to be booked at an ecotel hotel and I was excited about being in a ‘resort’ in a city like Kabul!! I near the hotel and the driver gets off and opens the door. I ask him very innocently whether we have reached because all I can see is a fortress in front of me! The gates of the fortress open and there is the ‘resort’! I swallowed hard and came to terms with what I was seeing in front of me. If I was to compare this place with some hotel in India it would probably be like a two star hotel! Anyway, I have lived in terrible conditions in the past and as usual I was quick to adjust myself to this new situation as well.

Minutes after I settle in I am called for a security briefing! Curfew rules, cover your head, wear full sleeve clothes, radio handset to everyone, no moving out alone anywhere, no shopping (yes! No shopping!! U read that right!!), no eating out, no public transport etc etc. I was expecting this so it was not a surprise to me. Though what struck me hard and I am still thinking about it is how much we take our freedom for granted back home. Small things upset us; we crib about freedom of expression, movement etc etc and here is a place where your life is at risk every minute of your life; life is unpredictable and need to be cautious even while you are indoors or sleeping. Are we not glad that we can go for a drive whenever and wherever we want you? Are we not glad we can go to any shop any time of the day? Are we not glad we can move around anywhere without people keeping track of where we are?

So for all those of u who are reading this post put your life in perspective. Stop cribbing about the small things in life, live life to the fullest, make the most of what u have now coz u never know when it is going to go away from u, live in the present moment and most importantly enjoy your freedom!

Taxi Paaji

2007-06-22T10:37:00.000+05:30

Hello! I am back!

This is something I have been wanting to write for a while now but somehow havent done so till now...Its one of the most endearing relationships I have been in...

My work often takes me out of town mainly to Delhi within the country. I tend to take the early morning flight to Delhi. I regularly call a cab service early in the morning to take me to the airport. The driver is a 70+ sardarji..he is the person who comes whenever I call for a cab early in the morning...He refuses to send anyone else because he wants to personally drive me to the airport as he thinks that times have changed now and it is not safe for a woman to be travelling alone at that hour.. So sweet and thoughtful isnt it?! Through this journey of an hour or so from my home to the airport we have very interesting conversations...topics ranging from the good old days (!) to politics to cricket and Bollywood. I enjoy myself thoroughly discussing various hot topics and its interesting to hear his perspective as well...

Off late paaji has not been able to come as his eyesight has worsened and he does not want to take the risk of driving in the morning...I am missing you paaji and i enjoyed the times i spent with you....

Its a new driver...a new route and the beginning of new relationship...but i miss the old times....

Thank You Mom....

2007-02-20T12:38:00.000+05:30

For sometime now I have been wanting to get into some hobby which would become a passion that I could look forward to...a passion that I can escape to.. forgetting all the stresses of day to day life...a passion that I could master...

Surprisngly, it was my mom who introduced me to Sudoku! She started doing the puzzle everyday and used to tell me " I am physically very active but I dont want my brains to degenerate at this age...so this indulgence!!!". Initially, I wasnt taking to it too much...felt it was cumbersome to be involved with numbers...plus have never been the numbers person (Astonishingly, I am a wizard when it comes to recollecting phone numbers though!!! dont ask me how!!)..... dont forget I scouted for a school that would offer me another option for Mathematics!!!!

Lately, I have been getting attracted to "The digits must occur only once" puzzle like a moth to the fire (as cliched as it may sound!). Whenever I get time to myself, I find myself sitting with all the old newspapers and solving Howard Garns puzzles..I love challenges and this new challenge keeps my brain ticking all the time...Its a passtime that is fast turning into a passion and i am enjoying it to the hilt! Prague here I come!!!

Where is the public outcry?

2007-02-12T06:24:00.000+05:30

Nothing has shaken me more in recent times than the Nithaari murders. It took me a while to register the news; I refused to believe that I live in a place where such gruesome crimes could be committed; I refused to acknowledge that the Moninder’s and the Surinder’s are very much part of our social fabric. I am yet to come to terms with what has happened (or should I?).

It’s been just over a month or so since the Nithaari killings came to light. The first few weeks saw all news channels carrying only this sensational news for quite a while... interviews with affected families, psychologists, lawyers, anyone who had any remote connection to Nithaari but of course not much of the police because they are had goofed up considerably on this case. We heard and saw the protests made by affected families; helpless cries for justice. It’s been over a month now and there isnt any significant coverage of these killings. One hears the stray news that the CBI is close to filing a charge sheet and that’s about it.

I wonder why isn’t there a public outrage and pressure to take on the system especially the police for goof ups that they have made; why isn’t the public talking about speedy justice; why isn’t anyone addressing the grievances of the affected families? The Jessica Lal’s, the Mattoo’s received so much attention from the public and consistent pressure worked in moving the case to their decisive ends…why isn’t such a thing happening here?? Can’t we identify with the families who have lost their children so gruesomely and have been living with hope that one day their children will come back to them??

Out of sight, out of mind?

2007-02-04T15:35:00.000+05:30

Haven’t we heard this phrase several times in our lives? I am sure many of u would have experienced it as well. Recently I met a long time friend of mine. We met up like old timers having to catch up on so many things that we wanted to share with each other. Hours together seemed like minutes but we were glad that we could atleast get that time together. In the euphoria that followed, we promised to stay in touch more regularly and call each other more often. I got back into my world with new found energy and friendship and looking forward to the days that would come by when I could cement my friendship further. Was looking forward to the exchanges, the leg pulling…but was i expecting too much? ..

Left me wondering about the depth of the friendship, the bygone days when in our childhood friends meant the world to us!! where have those days gone??

Guess it was a case of out of sight, out of mind or was I too much of an emotional fool or am i just over reacting??!!!

Spoilt by the East

2007-02-04T15:33:00.000+05:30

My recent travels have taken me to four countries in as many months. Three of them in the Asia region and one in Europe. I am someone who adapts to a new situation pretty easily without much fuss. I have been put up in very decent hotels in all my recent trips abroad. In Asia, all the hotels I stayed in had spacious rooms, comfortable bathrooms, excellent room service (very important criteria for me to judge a hotel as I tend to order a lot in my room as I work late!) and well organized conference facilities. Staff tend to go out of the way to assist you and make a guest feel comfortable. Have left most of these hotels with a smile on my face!

In stark contrast, the hotel room I stayed in London was extremely small, claustrophobic and room service wasn’t up to the mark. The staff were far from courteous (sniffing racism here??!!) and I sensed a disinterest and an urge to pack off guests as soon as possible.

The experience also left me wondering what these so called developed western countries have achieved! Asians have this history of pampering one and all and for once I wasn’t cribbing!!

Right to Choose

2006-08-05T18:04:00.000+05:30

This morning something happened on the pavement that not only disturbed me but also set me thinking a lot…

I was on my way to the local shop with my daughter to buy some insignificant groceries…on my way there I spotted a person lying on the pavement and what caught my attention were the flies swarming all over him like a moth is attracted to the fire… For a minute my heart sank when I saw this pathetic sight…then I slowly observed the things around him: a smashed utensil on a ragged cloth, few archaic coins… the first thought was to drop a coin myself but I have always been against giving money and would rather get them some food.

This time around was no different…I bought the stuff I needed from the shop and then got a packet of pav (for the uninitiated, it’s the poor man’s bread in this part of the world where I live) for this vagabond. To be honest, I was feeling a little happy that I didn’t give in to the temptation of giving him money and moving on. Few minutes later, I found myself standing in front of this hobo, handing him the packet I had bought. The man looked at it, gave it one disapproving look and kept it aside!! I asked him what happened… in the most unflinching manner he said. ‘I don't want to eat this’.

I was initially not just shocked but angry! How could he refuse what I gave him! Seething with anger, I kept telling myself on the way home that beggars can’t be choosers! After a while when I calmed down, something struck me.

Why can’t a beggar have the right to choose? Just because he does not have the opportunity to get himself what he wants should people deny him his right to choose what he wants to eat?? Why did I have to impose my choice on him? Maybe if I had given him money he would have bought what he wanted to eat. Yes, I am also aware that they also buy things like liquor and beedi (local Indian cigarettes) and waste the money…

But what the hell, it’s his life and he has the right to lead it the way he wants to.

A city that never sleeps??

2006-07-27T19:08:00.000+05:30

I am sorry i beg to differ....resilient, tenacious, city with a heart, are the main descriptors for this city called Mumbai. (I hate the name...Bombay was any day better!) Agreed 26/7 and 7/11 proved that the city has still a lot of goodness left in it...agreed that people still dont flinch to help one another when there is a major crisis like the above mentioned....

what baffles me is that the city and its people never seem to learn from their mistakes...there was tremendous grief, sorrow and loss around these incidents...people vowed to make this city a better place to live in etc etc....

Like in most cases (cricket for instance) public memory is short lived...people have moved on with their lives...have forgotten the promises made by 'their politicians' and bureaucrats to duck them in the water if they experience flooding in their areas, have forgotten that the city was supposed to look at a separate governance structure for looking at issues of the city only, and the list is endless....

People seem to be just existing in this city not living....isnt that a sorry state of affairs...do all megapolis become like this??

For me this is a city that never wakes up!

Fast Tracking justice....

2006-07-27T18:38:00.000+05:30

Few months back a Japanese tourist was raped in Pushkar and there was hue and cry about this incident...a fast track court was set up and today the verdict was announced...7 yrs RI....this is great news and i am glad justice has won...but this raised several questions??

every day several women get raped in our country...why isnt anyone taking notice of all this and fast tracking justice here??

was this done becos she was a foreign national??

there is more to this than that meets the eye! Rajasthan, the state where it happened depends on tourism a lot for its revenue....since april 3 foreign tourists have been raped in the state...the state was under tremendous pressure to act not only from the concerned foreign embassies of the victims but also from the various service industries (hotels, travels etc etc) to do something to save face....

this is indeed a telling tale of how money and market forces seem to always work even when it comes to such ghastly incidents! welcome to kalyug!

Back after a sabbatical!

2006-07-27T18:32:00.000+05:30

Back to blogging after almost three months...what kept me away?? i really dont know...wont say lack of time...had loads of them...!! need to ponder on this!

Mixed Bag!

2006-04-11T23:13:00.000+05:30

I have some good news and some bad news for my readers…………..for first time readers follow this link to get to know the background of this post…..

The good news first: I have been elected to the managing committee of the society in which I reside. Yes, it does feel good, a sense of responsibility has suddenly crept in but the bad news has dampened the enthusiasm a bit…

Now the bad news: I was the only woman who stood for the election. Efforts to mobilize more women failed and I was the lone crusader there!! More bad news: more politics by the men ensured that they got one man to withdraw from the election thus making it only five members: thus making it a case of all nominated (me included in that) as elected unopposed!!!

Shucks! I was looking forward to an election process and was gearing up to meet different individuals………..

Anyway, all that is history now……the road ahead is full of challenges, obstacles and I am for sure looking forward to tread this path……

Wish me luck!

Islands of Excellence?

2006-04-11T16:56:00.000+05:30

I am back again!

I am finding myself at a very confusing position in life at the moment……..the burning topic of discussion these days in India is the reservation issue: yes! Its come to haunt us again after almost 15 years……….

Initially when Mandal 1 happened I reacted against the whole thing – I didn’t have all my facts right and probably I was too naïve then and was carried away with what near and dear ones told me……… as I started working in the development sector I began to understand the merits and demerits of reservation……… I realized that not everyone has had the opportunity to enter the corridors of a school……..i realized that several of them had been ostracized for no fault of theirs and I realized very painfully that I belonged a class that was once considered an oppressor. I felt history had to be undone and people from the backward classes needed to be given a platform or an opportunity to get into school. I developed this opinion despite knowing that I had lost several of my cousins to foreign universities…….never to return again to their motherland…….

Over years, I also saw how this reservation was misused and politically motivated…..have seen people converting to some backward class or the other to take advantage of the benefits……..have seen several people who are truly backward (in every sense – socially, economically, culturally – with no access to anything in life) who have been denied the benefits of these reservations. As most Indians, I guess I came to terms with the fact that as in most other things……there are loopholes in this policy as well….

Now, its mandal 2 time. Now it’s the turn of higher education institutions who have to reserve seats for the backward classes. If mandal 1 was launched with the purpose of giving everyone a platform at the elementary level then does this mean that we have failed miserably at that and so mandal 2 is also being introduced? I am of the firm belief that higher education has to be purely on merit and nothing else…….. The IITs and the IIMs certainly belong to only merit category and the larger public interest dictates that they take in the very best and train them to standards that are second to none internationally.

(p.s - thanks Gugu for pushing me to get back!!)

Time to let go………..

2006-03-29T11:52:00.000+05:30

In less than two months from now, my daughter turns two and more importantly in less than a week from now my little princess starts play school…………..thus she begins her journey into a new world, a world filled with new experiences, new friends, new influences.

These are anxious and poignant times for me as a mother - Anxious because I am not sure how my little one would adjust in school, whether the new environment would make her insecure etc……………. Poignant because my baby is now entering a new phase of her life; a stage when I would be spending lesser time with my daughter, a time when I would be seeing my daughter slowly spin a world of her own, an age when she would do all the talking and I would listen. And it’s the time for me to let go…………………….

Breaking the Shackles..........

2006-03-22T23:04:00.000+05:30

There was a news item recently that caught my attention and surprised me as well. In Chennai, a society called Men Community Development Society (MCDS) has been registered as a society and believe it or not this is supposed to be the first officially registered Gay Society in India!! The president of this society gave an interview on TV and requested that his image not be blurred (which is usually the case because of the social taboo associated with homosexuals in our society) and he wanted the world to know his sexual preference!

It has been launched by the Indian Community Welfare Organization, an anti-AIDS Non-Government Organization, with the aim to rehabilitate homosexuals and to bring them into the mainstream. Considering the social taboo associated with homosexuals and homosexuality being a criminal offence in India, this is indeed a bold step. Also I was pleasantly surprised that a city like Chennai which is still conservative in more than one way, has taken this brave step!!

Mayhem!!

2006-03-20T16:12:00.000+05:30

I was looking forward to this Sunday because it was supposed to be the elections in our building. Got up early that day, got all the work done at home so that I could be in time for the meeting. At the appointed hour went to the office and there was no surprise in store!! I was the only woman who attended the meeting!! The men were stunned to see a woman amidst them. As the meeting proceeded, it was decided that that the elections would take place before the end of the month and not today!! (Don’t ask me why!!) But as usual (that’s what my hubby tells me) there were abuses, accusations (Thank god! They spared the chairs!!) hurled left, right and centre. There was chaos reigning there and I was shocked that no one was willing to take control of the situation and bring some order. Finally I stood up (couldn’t have faced my conscience if I sat any longer and watched all that nonsense) and requested that people close the meeting formally and fight like cats and dogs after people left.

To my surprise, my short speech was well received (with thalis if I may add!) and the meeting was closed immediately.

Couple of things crossed my mind about this experience of mine: will my participation in this meeting send signals to other women to break the barriers and step out?? I could sense that couple of men were very uncomfortable with my presence in the meeting. One even tried to stop me as I was speaking. Will there now be more conscious forces working to not get women out of their homes???

Awakening?

2006-03-16T15:12:00.000+05:30

I am deeply engrossed in a non-fiction book (I am an avid fiction reader) after a long time. When I had gone to the book store recently, something just attracted me to this book and immediately got this as a gift for my hubby (he is more of a non-fiction reader than I am). Didn’t read the synopsis or check anything just bought it. I have never done this before and I found this strange. When I got back home and looked at the book I realized it is from the author of one of my favourite non-fiction books – The Power of Now. This book is called the New Earth and the author is Eckhart Tolle.

I generally read a non fiction book only if it is highly recommended by someone I know. But I have started reading this book before my hubby has started and I must tell u it is shaking me slowly but painfully. Its making me realize the illusions I have about myself and people /things around me. Believe me I haven’t even read half of this book yet and I can feel the impact already; it sometimes scares me!

Holi Hai………..

2006-03-16T15:11:00.000+05:30

This is one festival I generally don’t look forward to. Its that time of the year when all and sundry take it as the best opportunity to get ‘close’ to the so called fairer sex on the pretext of applying gulal. Several times I have seen girls appearing helpless and unable to say or do anything because they are termed as spoilt sports if they complain on this day!! Besides this, I have spent several days trying to scrub off the colour during our holi days in delhi. That’s when I decided I had had enough of this festival.

Then comes my daughter into my life! She is one helluva water baby and can be in H20 for hours at a stretch. She is a child full of masti. We did not want to deprive her of getting to see what this festival is all about and so decided to take her to the place where all the kids were playing; fully equipped with pichkaris and balloons and buckets of coloured water!!! Little did I realize that I would become the target of all the kiddos down there! Was continuously attacked from all directions; then I decided I take ‘revenge’!!!!!!!!!! There began the game of throwing balloons filled with water sans the colours and wow! for several hours I became one of them and had a blast. Oh yes! My daughter and hubby joined in all this masti and we had one big happy family holi!

I am ecstatic…….

2006-03-13T15:06:00.000+05:30

Remember one of my earlier posts regarding my daughter calling out everyone’s name but mine.

She did finally and wow! My name didn’t ever sound so beautiful and musical. It has been worth the wait!!

Unconscious & Conscious forces…………..

2006-03-13T15:05:00.000+05:30

In a week from now, the society in which I reside will vote its management committee……….as has been the norm with several societies; women rarely feature in the scheme of such decision making bodies. Like most societies, ours is infested with dirty politics too. The last month has been rather nasty; few have been verbal with their accusations; few have taken the route of penning down their frustrations and sending out letters to all and sundry once in two days. Again it’s all the men who are doing the talking and the writing. Where are the women???

I have taken it on to myself to speak to all the women members to atleast be present for the elections this time but little did I realize that this would be such an uphill task. Some get too busy when this topic comes up for discussion; some have other plans on that day; and a few are open to admit that their husbands don’t want them to get involved in such matters!!

I am not someone who will give up so easily……………the fight is on………….I will carry on………. Need all positive energies coming my way…………………….

It’s been a while………………

2006-03-13T14:59:00.000+05:30

Its been more than a month since my last post………….so many things have been happening but somehow didn’t feel like penning down my thoughts on anything………a low phase…………..dull moments……….. Dreamy mornings…….. Reflective evenings……………… restless nights………

Hope to get back to some active blogging soon,…………….. very sooooooooooooooon

The Animal in Me!!!

2006-02-04T13:25:00.000+05:30

Have u ever wondered which animal you relate to the most??? I have thought about this several times but more in terms of my own attributes but not which animal per se. I have often thought myself to be powerful (hold on! Why do most people have negative connotations to this word??). Powerful in the sense of having the capability, capacity and will to achieve what I want to achieve. Powerful as in having the courage to take risks, fight all odds and alter uncomfortable situations in life. Powerful because I think I have the ability to influence and convince people whom I want to!!

Recently, I came across an article on the Chinese calendar. I was interested in finding out which animal is associated with my birth year!!! Viola! It’s the TIGER!! Reading the attributes mentioned in the article did bring a wide grin on my face!!!!! Read on…..

“Tiger people are daring fighters, they are capable of standing up to the better end for what they think is right. Although they could be selfish from time to time in the little things, they are capable of great generosity. Tigers are unpredictable, always tense and like to be in a hurry. Tiger people are difficult to resist, for they are magnetic characters and their natural air of authority confers a certain prestige on them. They are tempestuous yet calm, warm-hearted yet fearsome, courageous in the face of danger yet yielding and soft in mysterious, unexpected places. Tigers are very confident, perhaps too confident sometimes. Although they love adventures, and are addicted to excitement it is better not to challenge a Tiger's confidence”.

The Tamil connection…

2006-02-03T10:05:00.000+05:30

In my growing years (no! I am not that old now!!) I was not someone who was heavily into ‘arty’ movies – just didn’t like the idea of having to sit through a movie with your brains on!!!!!!!!!!! As years passed on, thanks to my development work and my interest in people and relationships, started watching the so called ‘non mainstream’ cinema. I cant claim to have watched too many of them and go and see one only if it is highly recommended.

Aparna Sen is a director who was highly recommended by a friend. I watched Mr & Mrs Iyer and loved it for its sensitivities and sensibilities! Then I watched 15 Park Avenue recently, a depressing movie but I appreciated it for the riveting performances of all its actors especially Konkana Sen. Something that struck me after seeing both the movies………….there is an important character (more so in the former movie than the latter) in both the movies who has a Tamil connection!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is it with Sen and Tamil??? I am yet to decipher!! But I loved it!! Better than the clichéd portrayal of all south Indians as Madrasis with those typical accents!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now that I have mentioned this………can’t rest till I explore this connection………….watch this space!!

Musical disillusionment ...............

2006-02-02T15:37:00.000+05:30

I am a sucker for reality shows especially the ones that showcase music talent. I would religiously plonk myself in front of the idiot box to curse the judges for their harsh remarks or to shed a few tears for my favourite contestant who was voted out!! Thankfully I have always stopped short of voting for my favourite contestant by sending them an SMS or calling them!! (I always wonder – do people actually sit and send those SMS’s or it’s a gimmick that the channel plays on all of us that they have received lakhs and lakhs of votes for the contestants. Could people be so jobless??!!! Well, if there are jobless ones like me watching such shows then I guess there must be jobless ones who send these SMSs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Off late I have been glued to couple of music shows that proclaim to be the best talent hunt shows ever to hit Indian Television!!!!!!!!! Some of the singers have genuine talent and I sit and admire (and sometimes envy too!!) their passion and their dedication.The transformation (I mean the physical appearance!) of some of the contestants is phenomenal and the focus these days is more on this and the packaging and less on singing talent per se. Something that struck me recently and irritated me to no end was the fact that few of the contestants did not sing live and it was after all lip sync!! Can u believe that!! Voices recorded in a studio and the contestant woes the audience (studio and TV) with his live wire performance!! It’s a different matter that some of them sang awfully despite having recorded their songs and they didn’t have to face the ordeal of singing live!!

This is such a shame! I feel terrible that I am one of those ardent followers who has been taken for a royal musical ride………………..

What’s in a name!!!

2006-02-02T15:27:00.000+05:30

My daughter is 20 months old and at the cost of sounding clichéd, let me tell you all that she is the apple of our eyes. She is naughty, hyperactive, very inquisitive and above all a great actress!!! She grasps everything very fast……… I have to deliberate a hundred zillion times before I utter a ‘bad’ word in front of her lest she picks it up and uses it back at me!!! She is everything that I want a child to be!!!

Her latest fascination is names of people whom she knows. What is periamma’s name, navya? and she promptly replies “Apparnaaaaaaaa”; What is appa’s name? and pat comes the reply “Aanand”. She goes on to loudly pronounce all names but one………………… To date she has never been able to (or she doesn’t want to only she knows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) say my name! A name that was associated with her much before she was born; a name she carries along with her name now and a name her mother yearns to listen!!

Strange are the ways of life…………………….

Passion rekindled……..

2006-01-25T07:25:00.000+05:30

“Amma, don’t move from there – Azhar just hit a four when you were in that position. Dad, what dress did you were two days back when India won the match?!!” very common utterances when I was watching cricket as a kid in our home in Trichy. As a kid I used to watch every match possible and used to even bunk school to watch a cricket match on TV!! Used to be highly superstitious about everything concerning the game and the passion for the game was sustained for several years thanks to the interest and fervor with which our family watched and discussed the game!!

Over the last few years, this passion has come down drastically and I am not sure why?? The over hype on cricket or is it the match fixing allegations or the fading away of my heroes like Azharuddin, Wasim Akram???? Recently, when my family got together after several years, we got to watch day 3 in the Indo-Pak 2nd test match. “Come on, do anything but don’t get out to a Shoaib Akhtar ball” screams by dad; “its time to give Afridi some bashing – hit him for a six’ pleads by uncle!!!!!!!!!! I sit glued to a seat because Dhoni (the new poster boy of Indian cricket?!!!!) smashes all and sundry to the fence. Arguments galore amongst everyone about ganguly’s omission, tendulkar walking away, the Pakistani crowd and what not.

Watching the match brought back memories of my childhood. The passion that flowed, the idiosyncrasies that followed, the expert commentaries, the non stop snack flows etc etc…………….

I miss those times……….. I miss that old me…………I miss that passion…………..

Another year younger.........

2006-01-25T05:37:00.000+05:30

Who doesn’t like a surprise??! And especially so when it is planned and presented by near and dear ones. I am a sucker for birthdays. Generally don’t miss wishing people on their birthdays and try and make it special for them in my own way. Like a kid, I get excited when my birthday is approaching and sulk (a little!!) when it comes to an end!!!

This birthday (14th of Jan …. Ah ah! Not letting u all know the year of birth though!!) of mine was special for me in more than one way. For starters I got to be with my parents on my birthday, secondly my brother was with me on this day after maybe 20 years!!!! and the icing on the cake was the surprise party that was planned by my sis!!! It was a poignant moment to meet friends of mine whom I had not met for a long time!

And NO! Surprisingly I didn’t sulk when my birthday came to an end this year!!! Am I turning a new leaf??!!!

Inner Yearning……….

2006-01-09T07:05:00.000+05:30

Yesterday I went to a birthday party of a 2 year old kid. Nothing new or uncommon… all of us attend birthday parties. so what’s the big deal? For me this was special, very special. I traveled almost the other end of the world (for the uninitiated…. I live in a city called Mumbai - its easier for me to get to Pune and other places than to a place called Kandivili which is a western suburb of Mumbai) to be there. Why all this effort when I detest the clamor of Mumbai traffic? When I have to be on the road for longer than I have to be with the birthday kid?

All this because this kid is special, very special. She is an angel because she has brought in so much of light and hope into my friend’s life. My friend has found the meaning of her existence through this kid. She has become an inspiration for several of us who have not dared to take the step even though we have thought about it several times. She is precious to not just my friend but to several women because she stands tall as a testimony to the triumph that single women can achieve.

She has been ‘adopted’ by my friend but in all truth she has adopted all of us into her world – her world of innocence, her world of simplicity and her world of truth. The bond between mother and daughter was so pure and so natural that it brought tears to my eyes and a sense of guilt as well. Why? Ever since I remember I have always wanted to bring home a child who was lesser privileged but have shoved it under the carpet and got on with life without paying much heed to an inner desire. What am I scared of? What holds me back?

Will I ? Wont I? ………. Time will tell…..

happy new year!!

2006-01-08T14:37:00.000+05:30

couldnt have asked for a better start to the year! A great new party with my siblings, partied all night and the icing on the cake was getting an award for the best dancer at that party!!! (have often wondered whether I should seriously pursue a career in performing arts!).

Have recently started freelancing for various development organisations and the new year has brought in new assignments as well. yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!! Juggling being a full time mother with this work would be exciting and challenging..............

The new year has also brought in new energies within me to get in touch with all my old friends and I am having a great time connecting with all of them. Life couldnt be better and the year has just begun and there is so much to be done.........

All of u out there, may this year be the way u want it to be. Just go and chase your dreams..........